My Old Black Dog

My Old Black Dog
There’s a triangle on the wall, a mirror, and La Pieta,

A black man with dreams scowls from the wall,

My feet are warmed by a fire, it’s a grey melancholy day,

Scott Seekins walks by, the one famous Minneapolis artist,
He’s dressed in white, it’s spring, but the fire says otherwise,

I haven’t written a poem in months, I’ve been asleep,

I’ve been asleep for months, waking moments in bed,

Half asleep living in a social media and Internet induced haze,
Afraid of intimacy, afraid of the ups and downs of my love,

I sleep to avoid turmoil, emotions, and thought living in my bed,

Waking for coffee, getting out of the house is a triumph,

If only to change venue, to be around other coffee shop warriors,
For all I know we share more than I know, I mean the fire is warm,

My brain keeps pounding me to find work, not sure where,

Where to start, I mean I’m under snow, awaiting court,

Afraid of rejection, afraid of mania, dear God in heaven,
If you are the broken man in Mother Mary’s lap give me peace,

No one asks to be born, no one asks for any of it, I can’t pray,

I sleep, in my dreams perhaps work is being done, 

My father visited me yesterday in a dream, waking tears and sobs.

About kayaerbil

I am a Berkeley educated chemistry Ph.D. who is moving into the area of working on developing appropriate technology for communities that are subjected to socio-economic oppression. The goal is to use simple and effective designs to empower people to live better lives. Currently, I am working with Native Americans on Pine Ridge, the Lakota reservation in South Dakota. I am working with a Native owned and run solar energy company. We are currently working on building a compressed earth block (CEB) house that showcases many of the technologies that the company has developed. The CEB house is made of locally derived resources, earth from the reservation. The blocks are naturally thermally insulating, keeping the house cool in the summer and warm in the winter. Eventually, a solar air heater and photovoltaic panels will be installed into the house to power the home and keep it warm, while preserving the house off the grid. A side project while in Pine Ridge is a solar computer. I hope to learn about blockchain encryption software for building microgrids. In addition, it is an immediate interest of mine to involve local youth in technology education.
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