Erica My Love, Will You Marry Me

“If mystics drink poison, it will become an antidote,”
-Rumi, The Masnavi, Book 1
Turkey’s Decline
لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله
lā ʾilāha ʾillā-llāh, muḥammadur-rasūlu-llāh
There is no god but God. Muhammad is the messenger of God.
Oğlum (My Son), as an Erbil,

Let’s be practical,

We are are a mobile,

People of the east,
Mountains, rocks,

Are our Mother,

When food is scarce,

Survive, tell a white lie,
Walk West, hide your,

Soul, a wild soul,

Hard as stone, soften,

Lie, and eat,
Another day,

Dream for the day,

Uludağ becomes,

Too small, Olympus,
Is a mountain for,

Frauds, and philosophers,

Men of our blood,

Climb with ice, steel,
Allah built Cilo Dağı,

For you, trained,

To climb spirit-style,

In the West,

No ropes, poems,
After war and killing,

There is healing.

Even Sons of Wolves,

Can lie with and love,

Daughters of Lambs,
The path is narrow,

As that ice chute you,

Climbed on Mt. Shasta,

In 2008, during collapse,
Oğlum (My Son), as you placed,

Front points of crampons,

Into ice, clinging to,

Your ice axes,
1000 m above death,

You will learn to love,

English, not a language of love,

Swedish, no warmth,
Turkish and Arabic,

There you go, Oğlum (My Son),

I made a mistake,

And forgot my Qur’an,
On the plane to Boston,

Oğlum (My Son), restore your memory,

Your grandfather was a Guardian,

Our village Hafiz, our tribe,
Learned this from a trader,

After the genocide,

That trader told us,

Stop speaking Kurdish,

Stop speaking Armenian,

Your Mother tongues,

So, learn those too,
As the Somali people,

Taught you in a poem,

Last year, Warsan Shire,

Of Kenya, says on coming,

To America,
“Home
no one leaves home unless

home is the mouth of a shark

you only run for the border

when you see the whole city running as well
your neighbors running faster than you

breath bloody in their throats

the boy you went to school with

who kissed you dizzy behind the old tin factory

is holding a gun bigger than his body

you only leave home

when home won’t let you stay.
no one leaves home unless home chases you

fire under feet

hot blood in your belly

it’s not something you ever thought of doing

until the blade burnt threats into

your neck

and even then you carried the anthem under

your breath

only tearing up your passport in an airport toilets

sobbing as each mouthful of paper

made it clear that you wouldn’t be going back.
you have to understand,

that no one puts their children in a boat

unless the water is safer than the land

no one burns their palms

under trains

beneath carriages

no one spends days and nights in the stomach of a truck

feeding on newspaper unless the miles travelled

means something more than journey.

no one crawls under fences

no one wants to be beaten

pitied
no one chooses refugee camps

or strip searches where your

body is left aching

or prison,

because prison is safer

than a city of fire

and one prison guard

in the night

is better than a truckload

of men who look like your father

no one could take it

no one could stomach it

no one skin would be tough enough
the

go home blacks

refugees

dirty immigrants

asylum seekers

sucking our country dry

niggers with their hands out

they smell strange

savage

messed up their country and now they want

to mess ours up

how do the words

the dirty looks

roll off your backs

maybe because the blow is softer

than a limb torn off
or the words are more tender

than fourteen men between

your legs

or the insults are easier

to swallow

than rubble

than bone

than your child body

in pieces.

i want to go home,

but home is the mouth of a shark

home is the barrel of the gun

and no one would leave home

unless home chased you to the shore

unless home told you

to quicken your legs

leave your clothes behind

crawl through the desert

wade through the oceans

drown

save

be hunger

beg
beg

forget pride

your survival is more important
no one leaves home until home is a sweaty voice in your ear

saying-

leave,

run away from me now

i don’t know what i’ve become

but i know that anywhere

is safer than here”
Oğlum (My Son), Erbil, Iraq is war torn,

After the chemical attack,

Not safe, learn to love,

In the fogs of poison gas,

Oğlum (My Son), do not be angry,
When the mustard gas,

Makes you blind as a bat,

Learn to be a bat,

See with your ears,
When nerve agents fall,

VX, sarin, and tabun,

Do not blame, or get angry,

With British, German, or Russian,

Chemists, simply get a Ph.D.,
Get a Ph.D. in chemistry,

From the best school,

For chemistry in the world,

University of California, Berkeley,

Learn how they are made,

How they work, so you,
Can can feel what your,

Brothers and sisters felt,

Discover the molecular basis,

Of their screams of agony,

So you can deliver them in poetry,
Meditate on their pain,

For seven years more,

In your postdoctoral research,

To discover what the gas feels like,
In your body, mind, and spirit,

Learn to feel what it feels,

Learn to be gas, you are vapor,

Air, more space than matter,
Oğlum (My Son), you are empty so you can love,

Wake up America, ask them for help,

Allah has sent you to them,

To help, Kaya, rock, you are a helper,
Allah has trained you to heal,

Oğlum (My Son), recite after me,

Mountains do not do politics,

Today, we are doing deserts,

Tomorrow, we will build,

The mountains peacefully,
Oğlum (My Son), never be a purist,

There is no such thing,

Everything in life,

Has two sides,
Yin and yang,

Male and female,

Black and white,
From these binaries,

All the colors of life,

Emerge, rainbows,

Children, with love,

From man and woman,

Wolves and lambs,
Our bloodline’s survival,

Oğlum (My Son), depends on it,

Oğlum (My Son), I loved your mother,

For who she was, but I am,
Like a king, flying, promiscuous,

From flower to flower,

Do not be like me Oğlum (My Son),

Be a man, find a wife,
Do your best,

Make her happy,

Scrape by,

Survive,

About kayaerbil

I am a Berkeley educated chemistry Ph.D. who is moving into the area of working on developing appropriate technology for communities that are subjected to socio-economic oppression. The goal is to use simple and effective designs to empower people to live better lives. Currently, I am working with Native Americans on Pine Ridge, the Lakota reservation in South Dakota. I am working with a Native owned and run solar energy company. We are currently working on building a compressed earth block (CEB) house that showcases many of the technologies that the company has developed. The CEB house is made of locally derived resources, earth from the reservation. The blocks are naturally thermally insulating, keeping the house cool in the summer and warm in the winter. Eventually, a solar air heater and photovoltaic panels will be installed into the house to power the home and keep it warm, while preserving the house off the grid. A side project while in Pine Ridge is a solar computer. I hope to learn about blockchain encryption software for building microgrids. In addition, it is an immediate interest of mine to involve local youth in technology education.
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