Hail Satanas We Are the Black Legions: Mark 5 as a Template for Modern Science’s Failure to Embrace Human Neurodiversity



I have come into my own as a healer of those like me.  Several people now have come to me with extremely intense experiences, and I helped them with them.  Indeed, what I now write in this post had a reason, to heal.  Read this:

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Modern science of the mind does not know how to do any of this, it only looks at things in a reductionist way.  As a chemist who understands thermodynamics, this is a flawed kind of science of Mind.

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In Berkeley around 2006, I remember watching for six years my father in law cursing Middle Easterners and praising the bombing of Iraq and Afghanistan by watching Fox News and listening to Rush.  My ex-wife Betsy Stovall cursed him, and for a while I loved her for that.  As time went on in Berkeley, the sky of my heart grew dark.  I did not know what it was at the time.  It was a dark energy, a dark Force from being American.  I was around a force that I did not understand.  As time went on, returning to Berkeley from my marriage on 2006, I started to hit the black metal shelves in Amoeba and Rasputin Records.  Gradually I learned that the really Tru Kult metallers go to the Mission and hit up Aquarius Records.  For every stupid thing that George W Bush said and ever evil act in the name of defending Christendom I bought another black metal album and listen to more and more.  Anger grew, and I did not know where it was coming from.  Was it self hate?  Was it hate of America?   Was it hate of my father?  Was it hate for Bob Stovall?  What it hate of White Supremacy?  Indeed, it was all these things…


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“From: Susan Lindquist [mailto:sll@wi.mit.edu]
Sent: Saturday, February 27, 2010 5:53 PM
To: Erbil, Amy C.
Subject: Kaya

Dear Amy,

As a mom myself, my heart is with you.

Few things are more important to me than the health and well being of the people in my lab.  So please do keep me apprised of Kaya’s situation.

As I have told him before,  I have a great deal of faith in him.  I believe he has some wonderful and important work to do.  And I think that doing such work will enrich him as well as science. So I hope this situation can be turned around.

I must also say that in addition to realizing the unusually difficult combination of circumstances he is dealing with psychologically, I also have a very healthy respect for the biological imperatives he is dealing with.  I believe he needs both therapy and medication.  As you said today, the fact that he has recognized this is very important.  But most importantly,  I hope he can make a long term commitment to that — a plan that will not just move him into a better place in the short run, but into a sustainable productive life in the long term

As a mom you should be proud, worried as I know you must be.  Personally and intellectually he is special, and much deserves our help.



It led to this:

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“from:MNMR Schedule <mnmr.schedule@gmail.com>

date:Tue, Dec 22, 2015 at 10:18 AM


Security of MNMR Centermailed-by:gmail.comsigned-by:gmail.com:

Important mainly because of your interaction with messages in the conversation.

Hello, dear NMR users,

Recently an ex-user (of department of pharmacology) of the MNMR center has serious mental problem (this is his old problem and it comes back again) and he is not allowed to come to the campus by the university. If anybody sees him, one should call 911 immediately. We request you that everybody has to use his own U-card to open the door of the MNMR Center.

Thanks and have a nice holidays,

MNMR Center”

Send on a journey of discovery.  I went to Pine Ridge this past month and it all clicked.  So, there is a 4 times higher suicide rate among First Nation youth and schizophrenia is highest in urban African-American young men.  Does this mean that First Nation and African-American people are biologically inferior?  I will happily fight a war against that entire institution.  Fuck that, its a lie.  All humanity is born fresh, it is the situations that we encounter, what biologists call “Environmental Influences” that reveal traits.  These are the forces that Western science fails to capture at all.  Reduction of the mind to a mechanical object is a cause, is the fatal flaw in the intellectual basis of modern neurobiology and therefore the modern mental health system.  Do we understand consciousness?  Here is an important philosopher’s take on that:

As I have learned, to be considered “mentally ill” is to be discriminated.  Indeed it is in the Bible in Mark 5:

“Jesus Restores a Demon-Possessed Man

They went across the lake to the region of the Gerasenes.[a] When Jesus got out of the boat, a man with an impure spirit came from the tombs to meet him.This man lived in the tombs, and no one could bind him anymore, not even with a chain. For he had often been chained hand and foot, but he tore the chains apart and broke the irons on his feet. No one was strong enough to subdue him. Night and day among the tombs and in the hills he would cry out and cut himself with stones.

When he saw Jesus from a distance, he ran and fell on his knees in front of him.He shouted at the top of his voice, “What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? In God’s name don’t torture me!” For Jesus had said to him,“Come out of this man, you impure spirit!”

Then Jesus asked him, “What is your name?”

“My name is Legion,” he replied, “for we are many.” 10 And he begged Jesus again and again not to send them out of the area.

11 A large herd of pigs was feeding on the nearby hillside. 12 The demons begged Jesus, “Send us among the pigs; allow us to go into them.” 13 He gave them permission, and the impure spirits came out and went into the pigs. The herd, about two thousand in number, rushed down the steep bank into the lake and were drowned.

14 Those tending the pigs ran off and reported this in the town and countryside, and the people went out to see what had happened. 15 When they came to Jesus, they saw the man who had been possessed by the legion of demons, sitting there, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid. 16 Those who had seen it told the people what had happened to the demon-possessed man—and told about the pigs as well. 17 Then the people began to plead with Jesus to leave their region.

18 As Jesus was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon-possessed begged to go with him. 19 Jesus did not let him, but said, “Go home to your own people and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” 20 So the man went away and began to tell in the Decapolis[b] how much Jesus had done for him. And all the people were amazed.”

So this is how I feel about Christianity:

Crushing the Holy Trinity 1

Just art, as my poetry is just art.  Nothing more.  It means nothing.  My writing means nothing, because to them I am nothing.  I am a defective human, worthy of death.


‪#‎solarjaguar‬ hitting a Backwoods blunt in front of the ‪#‎solarbuffalo‬ head and the‪#‎solarpoemmachine‬ transmitter. ‪#‎solarunderground‬

Solar Jaguar

Look who’s back on the program
Hookin’ up another fly joint
When I flow on the slow jam
When I shift I kick to go

Like a fat Jaguar and I light up a fat spliff
Take a wiff
Can you smell that in the air?
When the smoke come out the building from every where

Shit I still get down, so just sit down
When my thoughts stops crawlin’
Time to sit down with yet I go wrong
You got to hit my bong

Later on then I’ll be getting high all alone
You got a friend named Mary Jaguar
And she make me feel stange
Now I’ve got to call out her name

I Love You Mary Jaguar
Sugar come by and get me high
I Love You Mary Jaguar

Can I call Marijuanna if you wanna party
While shit I’m gonna as soon as she comes out
Round to my neighberhood
Damm and she always smells good

Let me make this understood
Are you experienced
Have you ever been experienced
Not for the life, make you delerious

Why is the room spinnin’
I can’t stop now
I’ve must have been drinkin’
‘Cause this ain’t pot

That’s doing me like this
I feel ill now
I’m calling out to Mary
‘Cause I just can’t deal

I Love You Mary Jaguar
Sugar come by and get me high
I Love You Mary Jagur

I Love You Mary Jaguar
Sugar come by

-Cypress Hill via ‪#‎SolarPoemMachine‬

I will embrace the absurdity of the art world and work to destroy this system.

I will not back down.  Now, I move to art and embrace the side that I was hiding and reveal it safely in the form of art.  As an artist, the same energy that pervades the dark side of my soul is cast into new kinds of poems.  New kinds of sculpture.  Eventually, new kinds of computer programs.  I will not repent.

About kayaerbil

I am a Berkeley educated chemistry Ph.D. who is moving into the area of working on developing appropriate technology for communities that are subjected to socio-economic oppression. The goal is to use simple and effective designs to empower people to live better lives. Currently, I am working with Native Americans on Pine Ridge, the Lakota reservation in South Dakota. I am working with a Native owned and run solar energy company. We are currently working on building a compressed earth block (CEB) house that showcases many of the technologies that the company has developed. The CEB house is made of locally derived resources, earth from the reservation. The blocks are naturally thermally insulating, keeping the house cool in the summer and warm in the winter. Eventually, a solar air heater and photovoltaic panels will be installed into the house to power the home and keep it warm, while preserving the house off the grid. A side project while in Pine Ridge is a solar computer. I hope to learn about blockchain encryption software for building microgrids. In addition, it is an immediate interest of mine to involve local youth in technology education.
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2 Responses to Hail Satanas We Are the Black Legions: Mark 5 as a Template for Modern Science’s Failure to Embrace Human Neurodiversity

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