Where is God?


This post will be a bit of a ramble about my thoughts on seminary so far after year one of three.  They are obviously subject to change upon further reflection.  I am skeptical about returning to seminary next year.  I am not sure if training to serve the church is really what I should be doing with my life.  I thought coming to seminary would improve my life and fill it with the bliss of God.  Instead, almost finished with my first year I am left wondering is it a good idea to continue studying for a degree that I may never use.  I feel there are other uses of my talents and time that are available that I should apply for.  What good is an atheist who finds comfort in the church training to serve the church?  Particularly, I am skeptical if obtaining such training requires going into student loan debt?  I feel the Bible classes I have taken so far have taught me how to try to memorize a huge amount of material, not to digest the Bible for spiritual growth and enlightenment.  I wonder if I will not just forget the material that I have studied after taking the final exams.  Other classes have been on a gradient of edifying, but I am afraid that much I have learned I could have taught myself by reading independently.  I have an urge to take an adventure next, I am not sure what.  Hike the Appalachian Trail, go out to Moab, or hike some of the Pacific Crest Trail I seek a wilderness pilgrimage instead of more classes and books.  Give me trees and fresh air to study God.

“I become a transparent eyeball; I am nothing; I see all; the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me; I am part of God.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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About kayaerbil

I am a Berkeley educated chemistry Ph.D. who is moving into the area of working on developing appropriate technology for communities that are subjected to socio-economic oppression. The goal is to use simple and effective designs to empower people to live better lives. Currently, I am working with Native Americans on Pine Ridge, the Lakota reservation in South Dakota. I am working with a Native owned and run solar energy company. We are currently working on building a compressed earth block (CEB) house that showcases many of the technologies that the company has developed. The CEB house is made of locally derived resources, earth from the reservation. The blocks are naturally thermally insulating, keeping the house cool in the summer and warm in the winter. Eventually, a solar air heater and photovoltaic panels will be installed into the house to power the home and keep it warm, while preserving the house off the grid. A side project while in Pine Ridge is a solar computer. I hope to learn about blockchain encryption software for building microgrids. In addition, it is an immediate interest of mine to involve local youth in technology education.
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