This post will be a bit of a ramble about my thoughts on seminary so far after year one of three. They are obviously subject to change upon further reflection. I am skeptical about returning to seminary next year. I am not sure if training to serve the church is really what I should be doing with my life. I thought coming to seminary would improve my life and fill it with the bliss of God. Instead, almost finished with my first year I am left wondering is it a good idea to continue studying for a degree that I may never use. I feel there are other uses of my talents and time that are available that I should apply for. What good is an atheist who finds comfort in the church training to serve the church? Particularly, I am skeptical if obtaining such training requires going into student loan debt? I feel the Bible classes I have taken so far have taught me how to try to memorize a huge amount of material, not to digest the Bible for spiritual growth and enlightenment. I wonder if I will not just forget the material that I have studied after taking the final exams. Other classes have been on a gradient of edifying, but I am afraid that much I have learned I could have taught myself by reading independently. I have an urge to take an adventure next, I am not sure what. Hike the Appalachian Trail, go out to Moab, or hike some of the Pacific Crest Trail I seek a wilderness pilgrimage instead of more classes and books. Give me trees and fresh air to study God.
“I become a transparent eyeball; I am nothing; I see all; the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me; I am part of God.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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