God Please Deliver Me from Hypocrisy, My Own

I find it odd to be in seminary,

Training to lead the spirits of Men and Women,

Together with a cohort of sinners I study,

For all I know, I am the blackest of them all,

Fallen from grace living a finite existence,

An earthly existence,

An earthy existence,

Dirt, mud, sin, ignorance,

Yearning for absolutely pure connection and human love,

… that (in my experience) does not exist …

Certainly there is another way,

I am told by the books – today Moltmann’s The Crucified God,

That the secret is the cross,

Look to the cross and you will find what you are looking for,

For how long?

Pray without ceasing?

Pray for universal love?

Meditate to purify your spirit,

Meditate to connect with God,

Wait, I thought he was dead?

Wait, I am a scientist – God is supposed to be all in my head?

Did you know that Jung wrote a book on Job?

No, what did it say?

The relevance of that book is minimal,

What you should concern yourself with is establishing a credible language to express the human condition,

Your own condition,

That is the same condition you are in tonight,

For all you know, you are the blackest of them all,

Fallen from grace living a finite existence,

An earthly existence,

An earthy existence,

Dirt, mud, sin, ignorance,

Technology, bits, Internet, Ethernet,

Sure they contain God’s word too,

After all you can just Google the Bible or the Qur’an,

What is the point of memorizing God’s word when you believe they are just books?

“At times all I would need is a single word, a simple little word of no importance, to be great, to speak in the voice of the prophets: a word of witness, a precise word, a subtle word, a word well steeped in my marrow, gone out of me, which would stand at the outer limit of my being, and which, for everyone else, would be nothing.  I am the witness, I am the only witness of myself. This crust of words, these imperceptible whispered transformations of my thought, of that small part of my thought which I claim has already been formulated, and which miscarries, I am the only person who can measure its extent.”


Well, first of all to say they are “God’s words” is a means of expressing their inherent divinity,

For many over the centuries that was good enough,

Thus, it’s good enough for me,

Here’s a relevant passage from the Bible, Roman’s chapter 3, that provides some guidance,

“What advantage then hath the Jew? or what profit is there of circumcision?

Much every way: chiefly, because that unto them were committed the oracles of God.

For what if some did not believe? shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect?

God forbid: yea, let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written, That thou mightest be justified in thy sayings, and mightest overcome when thou art judged.

But if our unrighteousness commend the righteousness of God, what shall we say? Is God unrighteous who taketh vengeance? (I speak as a man)

God forbid: for then how shall God judge the world?

For if the truth of God hath more abounded through my lie unto his glory; why yet am I also judged as a sinner?

And not rather, (as we be slanderously reported, and as some affirm that we say,) Let us do evil, that good may come? whose damnation is just.

What then? are we better than they? No, in no wise: for we have before proved both Jews and Gentiles, that they are all under sin;

10 As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:

11 There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God.

12 They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.

13 Their throat is an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps is under their lips:

14 Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness:

15 Their feet are swift to shed blood:

16 Destruction and misery are in their ways:

17 And the way of peace have they not known:

18 There is no fear of God before their eyes.

19 Now we know that what things soever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God.

20 Therefore by the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin.

21 But now the righteousness of God without the law is manifested, being witnessed by the law and the prophets;

22 Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference:

23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

24 Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus:

25 Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God;

26 To declare, I say, at this time his righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus.

27 Where is boasting then? It is excluded. By what law? of works? Nay: but by the law of faith.

28 Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith without the deeds of the law.

29 Is he the God of the Jews only? is he not also of the Gentiles? Yes, of the Gentiles also:

30 Seeing it is one God, which shall justify the circumcision by faith, and uncircumcision through faith.

31 Do we then make void the law through faith? God forbid: yea, we establish the law.”

God grant me the wisdom to walk a straight path,

Guided by the principles that you provide in scriptures,

Together with others,

Sinners working together to live a just Godly life,

Failing every moment, but persistent to try again each day anew until perdition or heaven.

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About kayaerbil

I am a Berkeley educated chemistry Ph.D. who is moving into the area of working on developing appropriate technology for communities that are subjected to socio-economic oppression. The goal is to use simple and effective designs to empower people to live better lives. Currently, I am working with Native Americans on Pine Ridge, the Lakota reservation in South Dakota. I am working with a Native owned and run solar energy company. We are currently working on building a compressed earth block (CEB) house that showcases many of the technologies that the company has developed. The CEB house is made of locally derived resources, earth from the reservation. The blocks are naturally thermally insulating, keeping the house cool in the summer and warm in the winter. Eventually, a solar air heater and photovoltaic panels will be installed into the house to power the home and keep it warm, while preserving the house off the grid. A side project while in Pine Ridge is a solar computer. I hope to learn about blockchain encryption software for building microgrids. In addition, it is an immediate interest of mine to involve local youth in technology education.
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